


Pokémon Fantasy VII

by Kyarorain



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-27
Updated: 2009-10-27
Packaged: 2017-10-11 16:00:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/114126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyarorain/pseuds/Kyarorain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The cast of Pokémon act out a parody of Final Fantasy VII.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pokémon Fantasy VII

**Pokémon Fantasy VII** (There is no I-VI though...)

Ash: Ugh... *is lugging giant sword* Why me? D=

Misty: Quit slacking off, Ash! You're just lazy!

Ash: Misty... you're not even supposed to be here yet. *stares* There's something different about you...

Misty: I do what I want! Ugh... I really hate wearing this short skirt... *grimaces* And what do you mean something different?

Ash: But we're supposed to be following that script thing and why is your chest so big? Oh yeah, that's what different!

Misty: *slaps him* You should know better than to ask a woman about that!

Ash: But... but... D=

Misty: For some reason, I have to wear fake boobs. This is ridiculous...

Brock: *comes up* You think that's bad? I've got this giant metal cylinder attached to my arm and I don't even know what it does! Hmm... *presses a button and bullets go flying everywhere*

Ash/Misty: AAAAAHHHHH!!! *narrowly dodge flying bullets*

Brock: Oops... sorry.

Misty: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? *pummels Brock to within an inch of his life*

Ash: To heck with this. *drops the sword and goes to the reactor place, then places dynamite* Okay, Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!

Pikachu: *comes in* Pika? Pikachu...

Ash: Who cares about the script? Now use Thunderbolt right there!

Pikachu: *uses Thunderbolt and everything goes boom. Everyone survives anyway thanks to Scary Author Powers.*

Misty: You idiot, Ash! You could have got us all killed!

Ash: Heh heh, whoops. *sees Dawn carrying basket of flowers*

Dawn: Want a flower? Just one Pokédollar.

Ash: Sure. *takes the flower* What do I do with it?

Dawn: -_- Hopeless... *walks off*

*Everyone goes to a bar and talks and stuff, then Ash, Brock and Misty go on some dangerous mission involving blowing up another reactor. Except Team Rocket come and blow stuff up and Ash ends up falling to his doom. Well, not really his doom.*

Dawn: Ahh! You crushed my flowers!

Ash: Huh? *slowly wakes up* Did anyone get the number of that truck that hit me?

Dawn: You weren't hit by a truck. You fell through the roof and landed on my flowers!

Ash: Did I? Whew, good thing I had a soft landing then.

*Random Team Rocket goons come in.*

Random Team Rocket goon #1: We're here to kidnap the girl.

Random Team Rocket goon #2: What an injustice. We don't even get names!

Ash: I won't let you! Pikachu-

Dawn: Ash! Stop using Pikachu when you aren't supposed to!

Ash: But...

Dawn: We're supposed to run into the back and escape! Geez...

*Ash and Dawn run into the back and escape the Team Rocket goons. They go into the city... let's say Viridian City.*

Ash: Why is Team Rocket after you?

Dawn: Oh, because I'm apparently the last of a race of people with strange powers and stuff.

Ash: I see... oh, hey, isn't that Misty going by in a cart?

Dawn: You think something's wrong?

Ash: I dunno, but we've got to find out what's going on!

*Ash and Dawn go to the seedy part of Viridian City and find out Misty is in some fat pervert's house. They don't know who the fat pervert is though.*

Ash: Huh, how do we get into that house? Those people are guarding it and apparently they will only let you in. What's up with that?

Dawn: I guess you'll just have to cross-dress.

Ash: Again? D=

Dawn: ... Yes.

Ash: Meh. I guess we've got no choice.

*After a little trip around Viridian City, Ash is dressed like a girl.*

Dawn: You really look a ten year old girl.

Ash: Well, I am ten. What's your point?

Dawn: The idea of some fat pervert entertaining ten year old girls is really strange...

Ash: You obviously haven't read enough fanfiction.

Dawn: o_o

*Ash and Dawn go to the fat pervert's house, meet Misty, and then wait to meet the fat pervert himself for some 'entertainment'. This is all part of some plan apparently.*

Fat Pervert: Oh wow! Three girls! Tonight's my lucky night!

Ash: Wha-? SCOTT?

Dawn: He does kinda look creepy-ish...

Misty: I HATE WEARING A SLUTTY DRESS!

Scott: Let's see... who shall I have fun with first... *points at Ash* I choose you!

Ash: That. Was. Terrible.

Scott: Oh, don't complain! *drags Ash to his boudoir*

Ash: D= This is starting to look like a bad fanfic... I'm scared...

Scott: So, tell me about yourself~!

Ash: Uh... um... I'm Ashley... and, er... *sweatdrops* This is bad...

Scott: Got a boyfriend? I sure hope not!

Ash: ._.;;;;;;; Eh, no...

Scott: Fantastic! Come here, you! *leans in for a passionate kiss*

Ash: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *runs to door and is about to make his escape, but Misty and Dawn come in, wearing their normal outfits* Thank goodness you're here! ;_; Scott was about to kiss me! Oh, right. *changes*

Misty: You were running for it? You're such a wuss.

Dawn: So, what exactly is the point of all this again?

Misty: Okay, Scott, tell us stuff!

Scott: *tells them whatever random crap they need to know, pulls a lever and they all fall down*

Ash: Ow, my butt.

Dawn: What was that about blowing up a plate?

Misty: Oh crap! We have to go stop them from blowing up the plate!

*They go to try and stop the plate from getting blown up. Dawn gets kidnapped after saving one of Brock's siblings and Team Rocket blow the plate up anyway. Ash, Brock and Misty then swing on a rope to safety.*

Ash: That was fun! I want to do it again!

Brock: Are you crazy? That was really risky!

Misty: This is so boring... let's skip a bit more...

*Ash, Brock and Misty go to Team Rocket's HQ and get jailed. Then people are stabbed by... uh, let's say Paul, except he disappears. Ash, Misty, Brock and Dawn escape the HQ with a random Arcanine and flee Viridian City. Then they go to... uh, Lavender Town.*

Misty: Okay, now Ash is going to tell us a story about him and Paul, right?

Ash: Let's see... oh, yeah. I joined Team Rocket and became an elite Team Rocket and this guy named Paul was also an elite Rocket. One day we went to Pallet Town, Paul found out he was a freak of nature, got pissed off and pulled a Mewtwo, I mean, blew stuff up, burned down the town, almost killed Misty, then I kicked his ass. The end.

Brock: Wow. Epic storytelling. =/

Arcanine: Arc, arcanine!

Dawn: Maybe we should speed stuff up a bit...

*Ash, Brock and Misty do more stuff, hang out in a forest and meet May, who is a ninja, and she joins. Then, everyone dresses up as Team Rocket members and sails on a ship.*

Paul: LOL. I'm scaring the crap out of people. *scares the crap out of people*

Ash: Paul!

Misty: What's his problem anyway?

Brock: He's a jerk, plain and simple.

May: So he's running around the ship scaring people for no reason?

Dawn: Yup.

May: What a creep.

Paul: Sorry, can't hang around. *drops a random body part and disappears. The random body part becomes a monster and attacks.*

Ash: *points Pokédex at it*

Pokédex: No data... uh, has it occured to you it might not even BE a Pokémon?!

Brock: *shoots floor* I still can't get the hang of this thing...

Misty: *punches and kicks the monster*

Ash: Pikachu, I choose you!

Dawn: Ohh, you're hopeless...

Ash: Use Thunderbolt!

Misty: Ash, where is your sword?

Ash: It was too heavy so I dropped it...

May: Whee! This is fun! *is beating crap out of monster with shuriken*

Monster: *is weak*

Ash: Okay, it's weak! Poké Ball, GO!

Misty: ARRRRRGH! *furiously shakes Ash* It's NOT a Pokémon! Geez!

Ash: Wah... you're scaring me... ._.

Brock: *manages to shoot monster and it disappears* Looks like we defeated it.

May: Awesome! ^_^

*Ash, Misty, Brock, Dawn and May go on and continue doing random stuff. They are joined by Tracey, who can apparently fly a plane for some reason and they meet Meowth, who is riding a giant robot and he joins them. Time for the dating sequence.*

Ash: *is lying on bed* Zzzzzzzz...

May: Ash? Hey, Ash! Wake up! *shakes him awake*

Ash: Huh? What's wrong?

May: Let's go on a date, Ash! ^_^

Ash: A date? Isn't that a fruit?

May: Come on! It will be fun! *drags Ash out of room*

Ash: But I want to sleep D=

*May takes Ash to the theater, only for them to get dragged into the play itself.*

Narrator: A long, long time ago, the Kingdom of Saffron City was in peril. The giant Dragonite of the mountains in the north has kidnapped the Princess May. But the King has called upon the travelling hero, Ash Ketchum, for help.

Ash: *walks on stage* Uh... you need my help?

King: It's terrible! The Princess May has been kidnapped by an evil Dragonite! You simply must help us!

Ash: Um... how do I do that?

*A wizard and a knight come on*

King: Talk to the wizard. He will know.

Ash: But which one's the wizard? *looks at the knight* I guess you must be the wizard. How do I save May?

Knight: Do I look like a wizard?!

Wizard: I've even got a pointy hat. Jeez!

Ash: Come on, I can't wait all day! Tell me how to rescue May! Oh, look at that, I'm a poet and I don't know it.

King: GAH! You really are clueless!

Dragonite: *comes onto stage with May and makes random Dragonite noises*

May: Ash! You must save me from the evil Dragonite!

Ash: Okay, uh... Pikachu, Thunderbolt!

May: What?!

Pikachu: *fries the Dragonite... and May*

May: Ahh! You're such an idiot, Ash!

Ash: What? I defeated the Dragonite, didn't I?

Narrator: And so, the Princess May has been saved, thanks to the hard work of the hero Ash Ketchum and his faithful companion Pikachu. This play is so lame...

*Ash and May then sit in a gondola and watch fireworks*

May: This is so romantic...

Ash: Huh? Romantic?

May: We've had a lot of good times together and I always look back on them fondly. I learned a lot travelling with you, Ash, and I'm very glad we became friends. Of course, I had to leave to go to Johto, but sometimes I wish we'd stayed together after all... I kind of miss it, being with you... don't you, Ash?

Ash: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

May: ... Ash Ketchum, you wake up right this instant!

Ash: *snaps awake* Wha... huh? Where am I?

May: You fell asleep, you dork! I was pouring my heart out to you and you just went and fell asleep like that!

Ash: I'm tired... *rubs eyes*

May: Ugh... it's hopeless! *holds head in hands* What was I thinking?

*Ash and May get off the ride, then see Meowth holding some important stone they all got earlier.*

Ash: Huh, Meowth?

May: We should go after him!

Meowth: Ack! Twerps!

*Ash and May chase Meowth, but are too late to stop him from handing the stone to a Team Rocket goon in a helicopter*

Meowth: Yup, I work for Team Rocket, but you already knew that, right? Oh, and you can't hurt me because bad stuff will happen to that squinty twerp's sibling and some random woman who raised Dawn after her mom died.

May: Gosh. That's terrible.

Ash: I don't get it.

*More stuff happens, including looking for some temple, then they find the temple. Ash, Dawn and May go into the temple and do stuff, then a Meowth clone sacrifices itself and they escape the temple. Paul turns up and random stuff happens, Ash goes berserk and Dawn runs off.*

Ash: I still don't get it.

May: Never mind that! You gave Paul some shiny thing you weren't supposed to and Dawn ran off, so now we have to find her!

Misty: This is all complete and utter and total bullcrap.

Brock: I am so confused.

Meowth: I hope we're getting paid for this...

Tracey: I love Professor Oak!

*Since everyone is bored, they go to Pallet Town and find Gary sleeping in a coffin, then he joins their party, then they go and look for Dawn. They find her sitting in some random place, praying.*

Dawn: *is actually asleep out of boredom*

Ash: Meh. *bops Dawn on head with rubber sword*

Dawn: *wakes up* H-hey! That hurts!

Ash: It's just rubber...

Dawn: And you weren't supposed to whack me with it! You were supposed to try not to!

Ash: Eh...?

Dawn: Oh, forget it.

Paul: Y halo thar. *jumps down and 'stabs' Dawn with fake sword*

Dawn: Oh, I'm dead. *falls over*

Ash: Holy crap!

Paul: Here's another fake monster to fight. *leaves*

Ash: Is this a Pokémon?

Misty/May: NO!

*Ash, Misty and May defeat the fake monster, dump Dawn in a lake much to her chagrin and then leave. Now they want to go and kick Paul's ass or something. So... let's say stuff happens, Paul's ass gets kicked, the end.*


End file.
